The Doctrine of Christ

We were recently asked to speak in our ward's Sacrament (church) services. I invited a few special people but they were not able to make it. As I prepared my talk I did so with them in mind and felt that they should still have the chance to hear the talk, later.

So I recorded my talk as I gave it. I post it here in hopes you find the same comfort, peace and feeling of our Father's love that I felt as I prepared and presented it. 

xoxo

The Doctrine of Christ

Talk To Yourself

The second great commandment tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves. In other words, treat those around you the way you treat yourself.

I can’t imagine we’d ever actually treat our friends and neighbors the way we sometimes treat ourselves. Think of the things we allow ourselves to tell us:

“Ugh. Those pants don’t fit like they used to, do they?”

“Why can’t you keep up?”

“I bet if you walked out the door right now it would be days before anyone noticed you were gone or needed you for anything.”

And on. And on.

Can you really ever imagine speaking that way to someone else?

With a hurtful personal internal dialogue, no wonder it feels good to say and do nice things to and for others. It’s a break from all the negativity we have going on between our ears!

But oh how much better – how much more good we might accomplish – if the love we give comes as an extension of the love we have for ourselves. How much more good we can do when the light in our eyes and love in our hearts pours out of us in confidence!

Start now to change the tone of the voice that is negative and hateful inside of you.

Speak to yourself the way the Savior would.

Is it possible He would point out an area where we need to improve? Of course! But can you even imagine him using words that were derogatory, belittling or full of disdain?

Not ever.

The Savior tells us, “you can do better and I can help you”.

It will take focus and conscious effort to battle the voice we’ve allowed to tell us terrible things for so long.

But we can do it.

What will you tell yourself in love today?

xoxo

About Faith and Bumper Stickers

There's a popular bumper sticker in the area where I live. It reads, "If We Can Earn It, Why Did He Die?"

I've seen it often enough that I'm looking forward to the next time I do. Playing dumb (sort of) I'd like to ask the vehicle's owner, "what does that mean? I've seen that a lot around here."

I'd imagine he or she might tell me that there are those who believe that their salvation can somehow be earned, by their own works, diminishing or even negating the value (let alone the need) of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

Woh.

Continuing to play dumb, I might be brave enough to ask, "who in the world believes something like that?"

It won't come as a surprise to have them answer, "the Mormons".

I would trade my dumb face in and let them know that, well, I'm a Mormon and I've never been taught that. That isn't what I believe.

Mayble they'll wonder if I've been paying attention in church.

Maybe they won't want to talk to me any more, because, suddenly, they're best bumper sticker isn't as awesome as they thought.

Maybe they'll want to listen.

Maybe. Maybe.

Don't worry too much about those with these bumper stickers. They're simply expressing an incredibly common mis-conception about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons). And the number of bumper stickers is small compared to those who have been told in error that somehow Mormons think they can get to heaven

ALL.ON.THEIR.OWN.

No wonder! people don't believe that we're really Christians. If what people said about Mormons were true, they'd be right!

In reality, Mormons are Christians who believe in Jesus who was born of Mary in a stable in Bethlehem, who taught in Jerusalem and the surrounding areas, who established His church, who was literally the Son of God. This is the same Jesus that is written of in the New Testament in the Bible.

The same Jesus who went in to the garden of Gethsemane and came out bloody; the same Jesus who allowed himself to hang from a cross and who ultimately gave up His life so that each of us could live with Him and His Father again.

This same Jesus who rose from the tomb on the third day; who overcame both spiritual and physical death so that the demands of justice might be met.
                                                       
                                                                    ************

A while ago I heard about different main-stream Christian congregations being taught about what Mormons believe. I heard a sentence that started with "well, we've been told that...."

This is disturbing on so many levels.

I'd welcome the news if what was being taught was correct information. But it obviously isn't if the population of bumper stickers is so high.

When people choose a line out of a book and then create opinions out of context; when information is gathered from people who used to be members of the church; when then internet is used...

What has been hardest to come to terms with is that not everyone is looking for truth. They aren't looking for enlightenment.

They're looking to be right and have be wrong what they want to prove wrong. This ensures that everyone loses, and that's too bad.

Sharing beliefs is one of my favorite things to talk about. I don't care about how people think talking politics or religion will only end in argument. It takes two to argue and I won't be one of them. I'm sure others feel the same way.

I also know that it isn't my job to convince or - heaven forbid - convert anyone. That isn't my job. And it's what relieves most of the pressure in talking with someone. The pressure that remains is simply that I get my facts straight.

In summary there are two things to remember: First, no (wo)man can earn (her)his way to heaven (did you know that the word "earn" isn't even mentioned in scripture ANYWHERE?). Second, Jesus is the Christ, our (MY) Savior and Redeemer, the Son of the living God. It is by Him and through Him that we (I) might return to live with God again.

Hallelujah!

More to come.

xoxo

Milk - It's What's For Dinner

Maybe you remember Elder Perry's talk about how he used to order milk during cocktail hours when he was in the business world. He says, 

"I spent my career in the department store business. Because I was part of a management team, it was important for me to interact socially with local business organizations. The meetings with most of these organizations always started with a cocktail hour. It was a time to mix and get acquainted with the men who belonged to the organization. I have always felt uncomfortable in these social hours. At first I started asking for a lemon-lime soda. I soon discovered that lemon-lime soda looks like many of the other drinks. I could not build the impression I was a nondrinker with a clear soda in my hands. I tried root beer. It had the same problem.

Finally I decided I had to have a drink that would clearly mark me as a nondrinker. I went to the bartender and requested a glass of milk. The bartender had never had such a request. He went into the kitchen and found a glass of milk for me. Now I had a drink that looked very different from the alcoholic beverages the others were drinking. Suddenly I was the center of attention. There were a lot of jokes made of my drink. My milk was a conversation piece. I met more business leaders that evening than I ever had before at a cocktail hour.

Milk became my drink of choice at the cocktail hours. It soon became common knowledge I was a Mormon. The respect I received really surprised me, as did an interesting event that started to occur. Others soon joined me in a pure milk cocktail!

Dare to be different. Live up to the standards we are taught in the gospel."

I had a similar experience over the weekend at a dinner my husband and I were invited to. 

The night started with a cocktail hour, and since it was an open bar, the alcohol was flowing. Freely. Like Niagra Falls it was flowing freely. Woh. 

Initially I ordered a soda, ginger ale to be specific. It's my favorite and most restaurants just don't have it. It felt like a treat that I could order one that night.

But, like he explains, my awesome ginger ale looks a whole lot like others' drinks, and because no one knew me (though they know my husband well), I wanted to make sure my standards were clear, without question; that I was united with my husband in the standards he has exemplified in the many situations he's had to do so. 

So I walked to the bar and asked the bartender if they had any milk. He happily said yes and jetted away to get some. He brought back a new gallon, minus the glass he'd already filled for me. 

I came back to the small group I'd been chatting with, which included my husband, and what I had in my hand was quickly noticed. One of the women there said something about how now all I needed were some chocolate chip cookies. Hmmm. I'm still not sure if she was being funny and friendly or sort of mocking me. It was a fun evening either way.

Here's my milk. My ginger ale is on the bar behind it and you can see the plenteous selection people could choose from.

It feels good to stand out. It felt good to know that we could drive home later that night and not be putting our lives in jeopardy. It felt good knowing that we'd wake up the next morning feeling just fine, with out any lingering side-effects of the previous night's behavior. It felt good keeping the standards and promises we've committed ourselves to keeping. 

The world would have us believe that our standards are confining, but we know better. They are the purest kind of freedom. Freedom from all sorts of ills and consequences.

Elder Perry sums this up so well, "Sometimes we may feel that people will not be as accepting of us because of the high standards we have set for ourselves. Still, there are things we just don’t do. We have the Word of Wisdom, which helps us to live a healthier life, a type of life that is conducive to our growth and well-being. We have standards, ideals, and a way of living that are the envy of much of the world. I have found that if you live the way you should live, people notice and are impressed with your beliefs and you have an influence on the lives of others."

xoxo

The Look On Their Faces

I stumbled on this picture the other day and it's quickly become a new favorite.

Just LOOK at the expressions on their faces!

This is a picture by David Bowman. You can see more of his work here.

This piece is deeply moving to me.

I have a recurring daydream where I'm able to sit in the Savior's lap. To curl up, actually. He's big enough; I'm small enough. I realize there's some absurdity in the reality of this thought, but it is what it is.

His arms are big and heavy; He wraps them around me and I can feel their warmth and weight pressing on my shoulders and around my body.

There is complete peace and calm. He isn't in any hurry to go anywhere, but is content to just sit with me and hold me. The world seems to stop as we sit together.

I need Him. He loves me.

I long for a moment like this one. In dark hours, it is where my mind goes to find a solution for the relentlessness of life.

He loves all of us, perfectly, right where we are. Because we are His.

xoxo

October General Conference Reading Challenge

I decided to create my own 40-day reading challenge for October's General Conference. The one difference I made this time though is to NOT add a date to each day's reading. You're on your own schedule! Just getting back into the messages is the important part. 
I was AMAZED at how my questions were answered throughout the Conference, both because of the words of the messages presented and because of the things the Spirit taught me. Even things I just sort of have rattling around in my head ~ not really even articulated yet ~ were addressed. The Lord is SURELY in the details of our lives!
I hope you felt the Spirit as you watched Conference and continue to be fed and edified as you re-read and re-watch each address. 

Here is the PDF to print and keep handy: 

October 2014 Conference 40-day Challenge.pdf

More Gratitude, Less Gripe

It's an amazingly beautiful day where we live, and as I was driving this morning I wondered if I'd expressed as much appreciation for the fantastic Spring we've enjoyed, as I might express irritation for when the weather's bad.

I try to be careful about complaining about the weather (I've always wondered how tired Heavenly Father must be of hearing our fussing about too hot, too cold, too much wind, and on and on), but surely there are other little things that it's easy to fuss about.

When the clothes aren't quite dry in the dryer.

When one of my teenagers steals my nail polish remover for the gazillionth time.

When that same teenager (or one of her sisters) uses the car but doesn't tell anyone when she gets home that the gas light is on.

Life is good if these are the kinds of things we have to complain about.

I learned a great lesson as we disembarked from a really big boat this past January. That big boat had taken us to some amazing places and we'd spent 7 days being totally spoiled. We'd been in parts of the world where flushing toilets were reserved for tourists and grass was an acceptable roofing product. It made me realize that even on a really bad day, we as Americans have a lot going for us. Just the fact that we can walk into a WalMart or a McDonalds and use the bathroom puts us better off than 80% of the rest of the world.

As we got off that chunk of luxury floating in the water, we were asked to walk down about 50 feet, only to round a rope line and come back that same 50 feet, this time on the other side.

As I got back to the place where people were still coming off the boat, I overheard a guy see the down and back he had to do and with a heavy sigh of total put-outted-ness say, "REALLY??"

Here was the perfect example of what I didn't want to do anymore: Express irritation about the little things.

I was still floating (though not quite as literally as I had been 20 minutes before) from all we'd experienced on our trip and I wondered how this guy could even think to be frustrated by such a minor thing. I don't know anymore about him than what I saw and understand there could have been extenuating circumstances to his response, but it was his reaction that articulated exactly what I wanted to differently when I got home.

Have I succeeded these past months? I'm not completely sure. I still want my nail polish remover to be where I left it the last time I used it and for there to be enough gas to go where I want to go when I get in the car.

But I know my awareness is certainly more with regard to these kinds of little things. And even if it's the second thought, I still might get there faster than I used to.

This morning's drive in the beautiful sunshine brought more articulation to my experience and affirmation from January.

More Gratitude, Less Gripe.

That's it. Pretty simple, really.

Consciously remembering to express gratitude and appreciation for more little, every day things and lay off the griping about the other kinds of little things.

Based on past experiences, I know that having more gratitude in our hearts brings peace and contentment.

What are some of the little things you're seeing today that you might express gratitude for?

xoxo

I Didn't Think This Was My Favorite Conference Talk....

Today's "assignment", if you want to call it that, for the 40-day challenge is to pick a favorite Conference talk from October 2013. That in and of itself is a challenge, picking just one, or one that is supposed to be my MOST favorite, when there are so many that are equally fabulous.

I could have easily picked Elder Holland's talk (couldn't we all!), "Like a Broken Vessel". I remember where I was when I heard it as he delivered it that Saturday afternoon. I remember what (else, besides listening) I was doing, and the very physical reaction I had to his words.

But, I went another direction today and landed on Elder Christofferson's talk, "The Moral Force of Women". I remembered it once I began watching it again, just not quite with the detail I remember Elder Holland's talk...

Oh BOY was it a good one. It could very well be my new favorite. If you haven't decided on a talk for today, and are working your way through the challenge, I highly recommend it.

Watch it here:

I love his use of the words "moral force", how morality brings authority and that to have a moral influence as women in particular is vital. 

I love that we as women can cultivate, preserve and protect the moral environment in our homes by what we watch, what we say and what we wear and by what we allow others to do while in our home.  

What stands out to you in Elder Christofferson's talk? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Enjoy!!

xoxo

Genealogy vs. Family History

Do you ever go to your own page on Facebook and just scroll?

Scroll and remember?

Remember as you see and read the pictures you've posted and the comments people've made?

I have been using the "only me" feature for a while, posting things I find in my news feed that I want to keep but don't want to bother everyone else with. Like the lemon brownies recipe or the list of uses for apple cider vinegar. Stuff like that.

I was looking through the last month's or so of posts and came across some comments from around my brother's birthday at the beginning of April.

A friend who knew our parents before we were born commented about her memories of both of our births. This is what she wrote:

 I remember all of the details from yours and [your brother's] births... I looked up to your parents as my "pseudo-brother and sister!" Grandma called me here in Dallas (I was 10 1/2 and in the 5th grade) to tell me that [your mom and dad] a baby boy today ...  I thought she was playing an April Fools joke on me... Lol

On the evening of [your birth], Grandma & Grandpa had taken me and my visiting aunt and uncle to eat dinner at The Summit House on Sandia Crest (which, for the last 30 years, has been High Finance)... Anyhow, while we were eating, we got paged for a phone call. They brought the phone to our table and it was your dad... Maryhelen Elizabeth Evans was born! I was sooooo excited!! 😀 Great memories!! 💕

April 1 at 7:51pm · Like` 

The year she was talking about was 1975....WAY before cell phones. To have a phone brought to the table is impressive to me. To me it shows how excited my dad was and how important it was to him that he reach these people.

It's these kinds of remembrances that set family history apart from genealogy. Genealogy is the facts: names and dates and places, while family history is just that: the history of your family. Pictures, stories, memories. 

My friend's comment helped me to know better the excitement that not only she felt but also that my dad was feeling the night of my birth. Since I don't remember one single thing about that night myself, it's wonderful to hear a first-hand account from someone other than the principle players.

And maybe, help me love my dad just a little bit more. 

Working to learn as much as we can about our long-ago family will help us know them when we finally meet them. I have lots of questions and lots of hugs to give. I'm sure there are many generations of grandmothers who are watchful over me, and I look forward to spending time with each one of them. 

We can deepen our understanding of who we are by searching out our family history. We will be bettered for all of our efforts. Once again it's evident that the things the Lord asks us to do are really for our benefit. I haven't found one thing he asks that isn't that way. Pretty amazing.

Good luck to you as you start or continue to learn about your family. 

xoxo

General Conference 40-day Challenge

You may have already started your own 40-day General Conference Challenge, but if not, you can jump in today!

The challenge I'm participating in started last Wednesday (the 16th) with Elder Corbridge's talk on The Prophet Joseph Smith.

You can find the entire 40-day list that I'm following here. But there are others, like this one, that accomplish the same thing, just in a different order.

It has been a wonderful several days, getting to review one talk at a time. Sometimes, I've watched it, then read it, then had it playing in the background, several times throughout the day. It's a wonderful thing to bring the spirit of General Conference back into my home.

Last night I had to play catch up from a busy weekend and turned on Saturday and Sunday's talks. My daughter was nearby cleaning the kitchen and I loved that she came in when each talk was over to ask "which one now?". She was listening, even while doing the dishes.

Today's talk is by Linda S. Reeves and is entitled, "Protection from Pornography -- a Christ-Focused Home". I couldn't help but think that just the exercise of participating in the challenge helps me feel like my home is more Christ-Focused. I'm sure you'll feel that sort of spirit by participating, too.

Find Sister Reeves' talk here. Watch it, read it, do both separately or at the same time. Then come back and tell me what stood out to you.

I loved her quote from President Kimball about spouses (read the talk to find that quote).

I loved how she spoke directly to the youth, including her 13 grandchildren who were in the audience that day.

I loved how she shared her own experience of being a stretched-thin mom, and how she learned where her priorities needed to be, and where ours need to be also. I appreciate her testimony of doing those simple, necessary things in her home and the power that comes from doing them. I can add my testimony to hers of the power of those things ~ daily prayer and scripture study as a family and weekly family home evenings. I feel the same sort of comfort in knowing we're trying to do the things we've been asked to do so that when challenges do come we can call on Heavenly Father with a sense of peace as we've done first what He's asked us to do.

Enjoy this talk, and the others in the challenge. Don't be afraid to jump in today, and don't worry about needing to catch up or that you're behind somehow. You're not. Nothing magical (or terrible) happens on the official end date of the challenge that will take away your ability to see/read any talk. Just go back then and take a few extra days to review the ones that you missed.

xoxo

That Thy Days May Be Long

I remember a lesson in Young Women's a few years ago.

There was a sweet girl there this particular day who was a foster daughter of a couple in our ward. It was interesting that whatever our lesson was on during one of her few Sundays with us included something about the fifth commandment. It's the only one of the ten that has a promise attached for keeping it. It's found in Exodus 20:12 and says:

              "Honour thy father and thy mother;
               that thy days may be long upon the land
               which the Lord thy God giveth thee."      

This dear girl was in the foster care system for a reason and I felt these words fall like a lead brick on her poor head.

As we sat listening, I wanted to help her with this principle when it felt obvious she was not seeing much to honour in her parents.

And a thought occurred to me that has recently come to my remembrance.          

It's that it's interesting to me what this doesn't say. It doesn't say to honour our parents if they make good choices.

If they're fun to be around.

If they treat you well.

If  your mom makes you dinner every night (whew - I'd be in trouble here).

If you can count on them.

If they like you.

If....

There are no contingencies here. Only a promise that our days will be long in the land when we honour our parents.

So then what does the word 'honour' mean?

I think that respect is a vital part of what it means to honour.

We show our respect by speaking kindly to and about our parents; We speak kindly when they are in the room and when they are not; We learn from their failures and resist our upbringing by propagating their serious mistakes. We can take negatives and turn them into our own positives.

Nowhere in honouring our parents are we asked to put ourselves in dangerous situations, whether that danger is physical or emotional or spiritual.

Of course not everyone has parents that are hard to honor. But when it's easy, we don't necessarily pay attention to the deeper meaning of what we're asked to do.

I sure wish I knew what happened to that girl. I do know that her time in Young Women's was well spent and that she heard what was taught.

Maybe it's as we get older that we're able to appreciate the promise of this commandment. Even light-heartedly as we realize our days are longer because our parents didn't throttle us when we were teenagers. :)

I believe our in-laws become another set of parents to us, making this commandment applicable to them as well as our own mom and dad.

And the same kind of 'ifs' are missing as we navigate our relationship with them.

What does it mean to you to honour your father and mother?

xoxo

Getting To Know Yourself

I've always had a struggle with feeling refreshed, even after a relaxing evening with my husband or girl friends. Even after a quiet afternoon when the babies are napping and I've been able to complete a thought and accomplish things around the house. Even after a whole week's vacation away from real life.

And I didn't know why none of those things left me feeling like I was ready to jump back in and tackle my responsibilities.

You always seem to hear that these kinds of things are the stuff people seek when they're looking to relieve the stress in their lives. And they seem to work for other people...

Why not me?

I honestly don't know the answer to that, but what I have discovered is that there is a way to find out what works for each of us, when the things the world offers just aren't working.

Our family situation currently sees five little people scoot out the door throughout the day to school. The youngest scooter leaves for the afternoon to attend Kindergarten, leaving baby brother and I at home. Alone. (insert the hallelujah chorus here)

He takes a nice long nap during that time, giving me a prime opportunity to replenish my personal stores and be ready for the evening dashing. 

But I was finding that closing my eyes for a few minutes or catching up on emails while listening to the money guy on the radio or folding laundry while watching a favorite "mommy" show, wasn't leaving me the kind of refreshed I wanted it to. All of those things are wonderful and I enjoy each of them, but I was looking for more.

So, in a certain kind of frustration that comes from doing what you know should be working but isn't actually working, I started talking to God. 

"Lord, what should I do? What is right for me?"

The answer came quickly. It, in and of itself, is less important than the fact that it came, but what I heard was "you need quiet".

I knew what that meant ~ it was more than just the background quiet I was enjoying with everyone off doing their own things. I needed the kind of quiet that comes from stillness, from sitting, pondering, listening to both my heart and the voice of the Lord in my mind. 

All of this happened not very long ago, but I'm so impressed with the results already. 

And I LOVE how we can continually get to know ourselves, by conversing with the One who knows us perfectly. 

I am sure that the Lord is in the details of our lives and that His concern for us reaches to every nook and cranny and thought and care and concern that we might have. 

He loves us and we have access to His power, simply by asking.

xoxo

The Sabbath Day

As the universe was organized, on the sixth day, Adam and Eve were placed in the Garden of Eden. God the Father and Jesus Christ then "rest from their labors for a season" and leave Adam and Eve to tend to the Garden. It was a peaceful time, free of the cares of the world yet to come and full of quiet comtemplation.

This "day of rest" is of course today our Sabbath Day, or Sunday. I love that we have the example of the Garden of Eden as a model for our Sabbath Day observance and that it can be quiet and wonderful and spiritually strengthening.

We've created a list of Sabbath-friendly activities as our children look for things to do with their day. These come after "go to church", which is always the day's first priority, in order to partake of the sacrament, which we feel is the most important thing we do with our Sunday - renewing our baptismal covenants.

The rest of our list includes journal writing, Personal Progress, watching or reading a conference talk or session, taking a walk, and helping to plan FHE. I should also say that "take a nap" is on the list, and that is often a favorite!

Your list of activities may differ from mine. And these aren't the only things on our list, but a representation of the list overall.

My point in sharing some of the things on our list is only to help to find things that are restorative and strengthening, so that our Sabbath day observance is one that is beneficial to us.

How have your Sundays gone recently? With small children, "quiet" isn't usually a good word to describe the day, but we can make sure that the common e-mail-checking things that occupy our time during the other six days of the week aren't taking over and not leaving time to renew and refresh ourselves.

The Sabbath is such a blessing if we let it be.

xoxo

Follow Dad

We have a variety of sizes of little people in our family, with the youngest being a very energetic 2-year old. I noticed recently when we're walking together as a family how often I say "follow dad" to any number of my short ones. Because he has longer legs, he'll typically take the lead and I will bring up the end of our little group.
From one of the first times that I said it, I've always been grateful at how fabulous it is that the instruction I give my children to "follow dad" doesn't just apply to physical things. He is a great role model and example and worthy to be followed in so many ways.
But last night, as we were walking to the van from the water park, I realized there's a little more to this sweet observation than I'd noticed before.

Dad was carefully making sure those precious little people were following after him, too.

It was a simple gesture and I'm sure he's done it most every time we fall in to this pattern. But last night as I told them one more time to "follow dad" (thus getting their attention back to crossing the parking lot safely), he turned around and made sure they were behind him, with a quick "come on guys" to keep them moving in the right direction.

In addition to my heart swelling at little at this amazing man I married, I can't help but think that this is how our Heavenly Father works as we follow after Him.

We have to listen to the teachings of His prophets and our other leaders to follow after Him, but of course he is ever-checking in and concerned that we are where we are supposed to be. And because, like my children can trust their dad to lead them to safety, we can trust our Heavenly Father to lead us safely, following after Him always brings blessings and peace to our lives.

Are you in the right place today, following after the One who promises peace and joy?

xoxo

The Rolls We Play

Each of us represents certain groups: as a Being, we represent the human race; as a woman, I represent womanhood; as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I represent the Church. Not in an official capacity, but as a member.

Just yesterday I found a list of actors who were Mormon. Some were obvious - the Donny Osmond's of the group. But there were others that were a surprise. There were those whose body of work didn't exactly lead me to think that by their work their membership was obvious.

And it got me thinking about how well I represent the groups I am a part of. Am I a productive member of society, guarding humanity and my fellow humans? What does the world see in me regarding my femininity and how I represent womanhood? Is it obvious to those I meet that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

I hope so.

Of course there are things I want and need to do to improve in all of these areas, but my hope is that as each of us looks at and examines the rolls we have to play ~ human, woman, church member, wife/sister/daughter/mother/aunt/grandma etc. ~ we will do our best to represent those rolls well. To do good by the titles we have been given, or that we've taken on ourselves.

xoxo

Moms and Prophets

Not long ago, I finished a project I'd been working on to read the biographies of the 4 men who've served as prophets since the time I joined the church in 1992.

I didn't read them in order (Benson, Hunter, Hinckley, Monson), but instead finished with President Hunter's biography, by Eleanor Knowles. What stood out to me in this final episode of my project was the Prophet's ability to accomplish so much, even while going through serious personal hardships and trials. Life was not continually easy for any of these men, but they were certainly blessed as they went about doing the Lord's work.

I wondered how they made so much use of their time and how they were able to do so much. It was easy to see that it was because they were in the right place, at the right time, choosing to do the right things, as the Lord needed them to do them.

In addition to their "I will go and do" attitude was a pledge to dedicate themselves to the work. What the Lord asked of them was, to them, going to be accomplished, no matter what.

As a mother, I long for accomplishment to each day. But motherhood doesn't necessarily bring with it a neat little checklist of things that are tangible enough to be recorded. While I treasure special moments with my children and am so grateful for the chance to be their mom, the intangibility that can be on-going (and sometimes feels never-ending) becomes a challenge to my love for lists.

Is that a familiar feeling to you, too?

You can read about how my scriptures became the brick to my day here.

What occurred to me after spending a minute admiring President Hunter (and all of the prophets) for his (their) productivity was that being prophet was his calling in exactly the same way being a mom is mine. And as such, I am entitled to the same kind of direction and inspiration that will allow me to make the most of the time I have each day. Just like these prophets demonstrated the ability to magnify time, when I am on the Lord's errand, I will be able to accomplish all I need and want each day.

Will I get everything done on my list every day?  No.

But like Sister Weeks said in her book "Confessions of an Unbalanced Woman", our satisfaction of each day will increase and improve simply because we're putting first things first and are dedicating ourselves to our priorities.

I can pledge myself to the work I am called to do in the very same way each prophet has done, and then reap the benefits the inevitable time-magnification brings. 

It's so easy these days to be distracted by all the good things available to us. It's also easy to withdraw and neglect those priorities in order to have some extra "me" time or because we feel like if we spend so much time keeping our children occupied, there won't be any time left for other needs, but most especially wants.

What I've learned is, even though it's counter-intuitive, when we dedicate ourselves to the service the Lord needs us to render, our time will be magnified in such a way that all of those other things will be within our ability to accomplish. Maybe not in the amount of time we thought or planned, but they will be doable.

It's surprising though, how much of those must-do's and want-to's fall off our list or out of our memory when we are focused on the things the Lord puts on our list. Satisfaction remains and little is really missed with their loss.

Our challenge then is to see our calling in the same way each prophet has seen his; to pledge ourselves to the Lord's work, continually seeking guidance and direction from Him. And then, to never lose sight of it all.

Is it easy to lose sight of the divinity of our role as woman, wife and mother? Especially with the messages the world sends today?

Most definitely: YES.

So even greater then is our charge to stay focused, to not let those distractions hinder us and to pledge ourselves to the work we're called to do, remembering who it is that has called us to do it.

Heavenly Father loves us and is aware of our unique situation and each of our challenges. He sent us here to succeed.

Something one of my daughters pinned recently comes to mind...

And it's true.

We can find great happiness when we work to align our desires with those the Lord has for us. In fact I think that's where our greatest happiness will be found.

May we be blessed as we seek to know our purpose and then work to live so it can be fulfilled.

xoxo
 

Happy Mother's Day!

It's Mother's Day this weekend and Elder Holland has some great encouragement and counsel for each of us.

Enjoy!

xoxo

Powerful Medicine

The scriptures are powerful medicine, both for preventive purposes and for restoration.

After reading Emily Watts' adorable book, "Confessions of an Unbalanced Woman" again a year or so ago, I decided that the scriptures could become the thing in my day described by Sister Watts as the BRICK of everyday.

The BRICK (my emphasis added) is that one thing that gets done, no matter what else does, and by doing that one thing, the entire day is not a loss, even if there's nothing else tangible accomplished.

For those of us who are "achievers" and "accomplishers", this is a really great concept!

For me though making my scriptures the non-negotiable item of my day has meant so much more than feeling a sense of accomplishment on any given day. It's more than a check mark on my day's list. Like we are promised, reading daily has been, for me, both healing and a protection.

While pregnant with my sixth child, I found myself at the edge of my ability to handle all of my responsibilities and often I would retreat to my room to lie down for a few minutes. I thought I was doing a good job of keeping things under control, all things considered. My sweet husband was working two full-time jobs, the other kids were happily busy with their activities, and I was looking forward to the birth of our precious baby boy. It was a very busy, wonderful time.

In addition to the "normal" kind of busy-ness, within 3 months my husband had two separate knee procedures and on the day of the second one, about six weeks before my due date, as I sat in the waiting room while he was in surgery, I had what I know now was an anxiety attack.

I felt as if my insides were ripped open and a horrible kind of terrification took over. As I sat there, I felt the wave of that emotion coming and tried to stop it, but it would not be stopped. From that point it would be about 7 months of living with that raw wound gaping open, before I finally sought and received some help.

In hindsight, I remember a quiet nagging feeling leading up to that time and that initial attack, urging me to read more of my scriptures. The feeling made an impression that I can still remember, but at the time I felt too overwhelmed to open those books too often.

I can only wonder now if paying better attention to that tugging feeling would have spared me, even a little, from the experience I have dealt with.

Now, I know enough to know better than to say that my anxiety is my fault. I also know enough to know better than to say that the absolute solution to prevent and end anxiety is to read your scriptures. I wish either or both of these things were true because then there'd be a blame and an answer for it happening to any of us.

What I want to accomplish by sharing a small part of my experience is to bear testimony of the power of the scriptures: to heal and to protect by bringing the spirit into our lives in a way nothing else does.

The scriptures are full of promises of protection, strength and power. I know that those promises are true and they have become more meaningful as I have taken more seriously first the commandment to read, study and immerse and second, to have faith in those promises.

For me, setting the scriptures as the BRICK in my day helps me envision a kind of fortified shield that protects me. I feel a sense of peace knowing that I am doing something the Lord has asked me to. They (the scriptures) have helped me in my journey to find the kind of emotional well-being I enjoyed before that first attack at the surgery center that day. And I feel confident that my regular reading has strengthened me emotionally and spiritually (along with prayer, temple attendance, priesthood blessings, and time).

Will I be spared another emotional upheaval like I've been through, thanks to my reading? I honestly don't know. I'd like to think so, but more than that just doing the right thing and being in the right place on a regular basis means the most to me. I do believe that the scriptures have power to prevent us from experiencing difficulties, including overwhelming temptations. We know we're promised that we won't be given more than we can bear, as long as we seek to have the help of our Heavenly Father.

These days my anxiety is mostly a quiet din in the background. Sometimes it tries to make it's way back to a more prominent place in my thoughts, but thankfully those days are few. Thanks to the help I've received and the protectors I've put in place (like my scriptures), I don't fear a resurgence but instead feel capable of dealing with whatever comes, when it comes.

I feel strongly that the scriptures are vital to our long term well-being. We can fortify ourselves and ward off unknown hazards, and we can help heal those scrapes we've already encountered.

Like any learning trial, I wish it wouldn't have taken what it's taken for me to have this testimony of the scriptures. As a side-effect, I'm grateful that this has come out of the horrors I went through.

I know the Lord is close by, that He loves us, and wants us to take advantage of the tools we've been given so that we might have health and strength and the ability to handle whatever life throws our way, even though challenges will still come.

If it's been a while since you've picked up your scriptures, see what you find in them today. I promise you'll feel better after you do.

xoxo

Thinking On Purpose

Time Out For Women has been doing monthly challenges this year and in February it was Mary Ellen Edmunds' turn to challenge women to "Think on Purpose". You can find that article here.

I love MEE and I loved the idea of trying to take on the challenge, but I wondered how I'd do it when most of the time my thoughts are caused to be focused on tiny people and interruption after interruption after interruption. Finishing a thought isn't really something my brain is even very good at anymore.

However....

It feels as if the stars aligned the other day, giving me some extra quiet moments that allowed me to take MEE up on her challenge to “Think On Purpose”.

On a recent Saturday, I had volunteered to take my daughter’s Science Team (they call themselves the “Ninjas”) to their Quiz Bowl in a neighboring town. It was about a 30-minute drive to and from their destination, and the drive over was full of cheery 12 and 13 year olds, chattering about all that is important to those of that age. I tried hard to be invisible and just listen. I loved much of what I heard.

Separately, I had volunteered to take another daughter’s Honor Band members to their rehearsal, in the same neighboring town. As luck would have it, these separate acts of volunteering ended up being for events on the same day! Now it would be FOUR round-trips, 30-minutes each way. Five if you wanted to include the trip back for the band concert we would attend that evening.

The band members’ conversation was as entertaining, on a cooler, 14-17 year old level. Again though, I worked hard to be invisible and so much of what I heard was adorable. I do love being with kids this age!

It was on one of the return all-alone-in-my-12-passenger-van trips that I took Sister Edmunds up on her challenge.

I had been reading Sister Olson’s TOFW book, “Too Much To Carry Alone”, and had nearly finished when MEE’s challenge came along. Sister Olsen talks about meekness in her book; how the Savior is our perfect example of this quality and yet it isn’t something you hear about people listing meekness as a trait they desire to obtain. However, meekness has a valuable promise given to us by the Savior: that the meek will inherit the earth.  Because of this promise and as it's a quality the Savior exemplified, we really should be looking to add more meekness to our lives.

So here was where I began to Think On Purpose. Sister Olsen did a great job of defining meekness, but my thoughts led me to wonder how is it that I (or anyone) could be more meek?

I felt what is so often described as “pure intelligence” flow through me and I was careful to listen so I could jot down the impressions at the next stop light. I felt impressed that meekness is not weakness, though the world would define it that way. Meekness is a quiet kind of strength, like Jesus had.

My question, ‘How do you “achieve” meekness?’ was met with the quick answer: “you don’t”. Instead, meekness is a by-product of other behaviors: gentleness, kindness, a quiet voice; by following the Savior’s example.

It was just a few minutes and the impressions were simple ones, but what I felt was powerful and I was reminded again that Heavenly Father is always listening. I know that the more we choose to put ourselves in circumstances that allow the Lord to speak - like Thinking On Purpose – the more we will hear His voice. And with those experiences will come added strength and surety as we build our testimony and deepen our conversion.

What a blessing MEE is, and what a blessing the challenge to Think On Purpose has been for me.

What would happen if you took a few minutes to Think On Purpose?

xoxo

My Little Gratitude Journal

Our good Relief Society Presidency challenged us this year to write daily in a gratitude journal they gave every sister at Christmastime. As the year began we did a 60-day "test" where the plan was to come together at the end and see what happened to each of us.

Keeping a gratitude journal is not a new thing to me. I have a running list, started a couple of Thanksgivings ago, that I keep in my calendar and add to every now and again. I'm up to nearly 300 things, all meaningful, though many are very small. Things like "flannel" and "the color brown" are on the list. More recently "hot rollers" and "garage door openers" were things I logged. I love and appreciate each and every item.

But, I wanted to do this challenge and so I took a little time at the end of most days and wrote. I discovered more small, meaningful things. Things like the cycling shorts my husband bought me for my birthday (if you're a cyclist you KNOW what a blessing these are!); then my mother-in-law's "Little Green Machine" that took care of my favorite 4-year old's accident on her bedroom floor.

I tend to look at things to be grateful for from the point-of-view of where would I be without that thing? I'd be a lot more sore without those shorts and my daughter's carpet would be worse off if not for the carpet cleaner. All worth being thankful for.

And while my 300-somethings list includes the things I hold most dear ~ each member of my family, the gospel, the scriptures, the temple, my marriage, etc., it's important to me to not stop with those big things, but to also find the littlest of little things ~

So at the end of those 60 days I discovered something I was not expecting: Contentedness.

I wouldn't have said that I was lacking in contentment before, but by paying attention throughout my day and then recording the special things that had made a difference for me that day caused me to better understand all I am blessed with.

Were my days always easy? Of course not.

Were there days I was grouchy, didn't get to shower, didn't get things done like I'd hoped at the beginning of the day? Yep.

But there was ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

With that contentedness came a greater satisfaction in what I accomplished each day and I also found a greater sense of humility for all that I've been given, because I'm paying more attention to those things each day. 

One day's entry was in gratitude for my husband. Well, there were many days I wrote his name, but the entry I'm thinking of was on a day when he stepped in with love and understanding for our daughter who would NOT have found her mother so kind.

I also hope she is as grateful for him...

Looking back on those entries now, I find pages of writing. Pages of gratitude that are a treasure now. I continue to write in that little book and look forward to filling it. I know this year will be one I remember a little bit differently because of this journal.

On the cover of my little journal our Relief Society put these words of President Monson's:
               
                   "Gratitude is one of the noblest of virtues. Cultivate within your heart an attitude of gratitude."

We know that the Lord encourages gratitude. He knows the benefits. He knows when we focus on our blessings there is less time to fuss over our challenges. And by doing that, we will be happier.

My contentedness is not unique to me. It's something anyone might find by participating in an exercise like this one.

If you don't already, consider keeping track of the blessings in each of your days. I promise good things will come.

xoxo